The legal field, especially family law, is often framed as a battleground. We hear about “winning” and “losing,” and the conflict often eclipses the primary goal: the long-term well-being of the family. But after two decades in this profession, I’ve learned that the true measure of a lawyer’s success is not about the war; it’s about the lasting resolution and peace we can help a family achieve. That’s why I was so excited to sit down with my long-time colleague, Cedar Park attorney Josh Murray. A 24-year veteran of the Texas legal system, Josh is one of the few who has truly embodied this philosophy throughout his career. In the latest episode of The Texas Lawyer Podcast (Episode 2), Josh shares his incredible journey, from a sign in college that pointed him toward law instead of ministry, to the essential, non-negotiable advice he has for the next generation of attorneys. If you’re looking for a candid, honest conversation about integrity, balance, and what it *really* means to win in family law, you don’t want to miss this. 

 

Listen to the full conversation right here:

 

The Road to Law and A Sign from Above 

Josh’s professional path didn’t begin in a courtroom, but in a high school classroom, getting into debate and, later, a mock trial program. He was influenced early on by the selfless, passionate volunteer attorneys and judges who coached them. Josh referred to them as “some of the most amazing people I’d ever met”, noting their dedication and true passion for the law. That kind of passion, when it’s directed toward helping rather than just winning, is what sets our profession apart. It instilled in him an early desire to be that kind of lawyer.

 

But even with that inspiration, the next step was anything but certain. Josh went to Howard Payne (which, for those who don’t know, is a small liberal arts school in Brownwood, Central Texas) still feeling a strong pull towards either the ministry or the law. He stood outside the main building on orientation day and asked for a sign. God delivered a literal sign, in the form of two lines: the line for the ministry major was fifty people deep, while the pre-law/political science desk had zero people. When you’re asking for clarity, sometimes the absence of a crowd is the clearest message you can get.

 

That choice paved the way for his success in undergraduate Moot Court. Josh and his partner won a tournament at Texas Tech School of Law. Two weeks later, the Dean of Texas Tech called, offering a scholarship to join their national Moot Court team. As Josh put it, he was “broke as broke can be”, so any scholarship meant he was “in”. That necessity, paired with his talent for appellate argument, is what ultimately launched his career toward Texas Tech Law and, eventually, his practice as a Texas Family Law attorney in Williamson County.

 

How NOT To Make Your Client Look Guilty

Josh followed his girlfriend (now-wife), Crystal, down to Williamson County after law school, landing an associate role right before graduation that covered both family and criminal law. I remember those early years; they’re less of a gentle transition and more of a legal hazing. Josh was thrown into the deep end on day one, sitting second chair on a first-degree felony jury trial with a partner he hadn’t even met. That’s what we call “trial by fire”.

 

The learning curve outside of law school is steep, and it’s filled with curveballs. Josh shared a great anecdote: on that first trial, one of his tasks was to buy an outfit for their incarcerated client to wear in court. He came back with khaki slacks and—the ultimate rookie mistake—a striped shirt. His boss immediately pointed out the error: “Really? Stripes? It’s a criminal jury trial.” It’s a funny story, but it perfectly illustrates that law school teaches you what the law is, not how to practice it.

 

This leads to his most crucial advice for new attorneys: your greatest resource isn’t your mentor (though that helps); it’s the experienced legal assistant or paralegal. They are the ones “doing it in the trenches,” handling the real-world execution that law schools skip. If you want to know how to be a lawyer, be friendly with the staff, as they have the practical knowledge you need to survive.

 

Redefining Victory in Family Law 

Josh’s philosophy truly crystallizes when he discusses the concept of “winning” in the legal system. For a traditional trial lawyer, a win is a clean not-guilty verdict, a major judgment, or a successful appeal. Josh even had one of those early on. His first solo jury trial was a DWI case where the jury returned a “not guilty” verdict. That’s a pure win. But the humor in that win came immediately afterward, when the successful client turned around and asked for $20 for gas because he thought he was going to jail. It highlights that a short-term legal victory doesn’t always translate to long-term life stability.

 

In family law, the calculus is entirely different. As Josh explained, we don’t often get the benefit of a “win” in the classical sense; it’s more about a sustainable resolution. His real metric for success is the long-term benefit to the family. He shared one of the most powerful moments of his career: receiving a card from a former client, a mother who included a photo of herself, her ex-husband, and their son standing together at the son’s graduation. The mother wrote that their ability to co-parent peacefully and stand together in that moment was a direct result of how Josh handled their divorce case, encouraging a good, healthy relationship. That is winning.

 

I couldn’t agree more. Josh and I have been colleagues and friends for years, and I think this shared mindset, focusing on the future and not the fight, is why we click professionally. When we take a case, our driving mindset cannot be about the emotional warfare of the present moment. Instead, we must focus on how today’s decisions will impact the children 10 to 15 years down the road. It’s about having those frank, difficult conversations with clients whose emotions are high, and asking them: “I know you want to go to war, but is that really the best thing for you and your family long-term?” Ultimately, our role isn’t just to litigate a divorce, but to craft a successful, long-term outcome for the people involved.

 

Get Creative: Pivoting to Mediation 

In our conversation, Josh opened up about his intentional and evolving practice, specifically his goal to transition to a more mediation focus in the coming years. This shift wasn’t just a gradual change in preference; it was significantly accelerated by the challenges of 2020. When the annual Settlement Week was abruptly cancelled, Josh saw a looming backlog for families in need and took a bold step: he offered half-price mediations to 180 local lawyers. The response was overwhelming, with 60 takers in just a few months, which not only expanded his practice but forged invaluable connections within the legal community.

 

What Josh values most about this direction is the profound advantage mediation offers over a traditional courtroom setting. In mediation, parties are empowered to “get creative” and craft truly custom solutions tailored to their family’s unique needs. This is a level of flexibility that a judge (often bound by the rigid constraints of the Texas Family Code and limited by strict three-hour hearing windows) simply cannot provide. Mediation allows for a more holistic approach, where parents can address the fears and desires that might never be heard in court, ultimately putting together the complex puzzles of their lives in a way that works for them long-term.

 

Josh’s Essential Rules for Aspiring Attorneys

One of the most impactful parts of my conversation with Josh was when we dove into his “non-negotiable” rules for anyone looking to make a career in this field. After 24 years, he’s seen it all, and his first rule is one we often ignore until it’s too late: work-life balance is mandatory. Josh is adamant that if you bury yourself in the job, you will burn out. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. He even puts his money where his mouth is: his firm has a policy where every staff member gets one paid Friday off every single month. It’s about ensuring they have time for family, for the dentist, or just to breathe, because at the end of the day, it’s just a job, not your entire life.

 

This lead into a sobering discussion about why we do what we do. Josh shared a story about interviewing a young associate who, when asked why he wanted to be a lawyer, bluntly replied, “It’s about the money.” Josh’s response was just as blunt: “It’s been nice meeting you.” As Josh puts it, our profession used to be honorable, and we lose that honor when we prioritize billable hours over serving people. If your only focus is the dollar, you won’t be good for your clients or your family.

 

His second rule is the foundation of his (and my) philosiphy: integrity trumps everything. In a close-knit legal community like Williamson County, your reputation is your currency. Josh reminded us that it takes years to build a trustworthy name and exactly one second to destroy it. Whether you win or lose a case, being honest and honorable is what earns you the respect of judges and colleagues. Finally, Josh added a practical third nugget for those starting out: start saving for retirement early. If you’re running your own practice, nobody is going to do it for you! These lessons on balance, integrity, and foresight are exactly why I’ve always respected Josh as both a colleague and a friend.

 

Listen to the full conversation right here:

Ultimately, Josh’s journey reminds us that a legal career is a marathon fueled by integrity and a healthy work-life balance. By prioritizing long-term family well-being over short-term wins, we truly serve our community. Listen or watch the full episode now for Josh’s complete story and expert advice.

 

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The Texas Lawyer Podcast is built on this very principle: pulling back the curtain on the legal process to humanize the law and provide real value to our listeners in the Central Texas community. Going forward, you can expect relaxed, insightful, “coffee-shop style” conversations with prominent local attorneys, where we review their unconventional paths, their biggest professional challenges, and the stories—not just the statutes—that define their practice. Join us as we continue to explore the dedication, complexity, and competitive spirit required to practice law in the Lone Star State.